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Bubbles, Powell and Marx

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“I knew before that God gives life to men, and desires them to live; but now I know far more. I know that God does not desire men to live apart from each other, and therefore has not revealed to them what is needful for each of them to live by himself. He wishes them to live together united, and therefore has revealed to them that they are needful to each other’s happiness.” – Leo Tolstoy, What Men Live By

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In Powell pretending to study. I was reading friends’ blogs today and it made me sad. My life has split right down the middle yet again. Should I just lay that entire former part of my life – ICA and all that goes with it – to rest? I’m tired of letting people go, but I’m even more tired of fighting for them. And I’ve never been one for gradual or messy break-ups/goodbyes – give me a clean break if nothing else and I’ll be gone.

I’m planning a donut-making party for next quarter. We’ll see how that works out.

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I’ve been studying Marx, Althusser and Foucault, among other authors, for my theory class this quarter, and interestingly, all three of them saw reality/society as being split into two levels – on the bottom is what they called the base, episteme, or the covert, the hidden forces that are driving society,and above it is the superstructure(Marx) or imaginary(Althusser) or discourses(Foucault). They all seemed to sense or believe that there is something illusory or deceptive about this reality that we’re living in, and so they came up with various complex hypotheses of societal existence to explain this. Interesting, because of course this reality we’re living in is illusory, there is something flawed at the base of our system and, like Neo, most sensitive people in the world can feel that “there’s something wrong with the world” – they just don’t know what it is.

Television Rated

Re-posted from an older blog, so some things are out of date.

Sci Fi

Angel – 2.5/5

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – 3/5

Dark Angel – 4.5/5(not as good as Firefly or MI:5, but I love it more)

Firefly-5/5 – Star Wars with grit and western bootstrap flair. Uneven, but pretty much the epitome of awesomeness despite its flaws

Fringe-4/5 – flawed, but better than most recent television. Vintage JJ.

Kyle XY-3/5 – a lot of potential and the first season was good, but deteriorated afterward

Lost – 4.5/5-schizophrenic, brilliant, uneven. Perhaps the only truly innovative show/show which approached actual art I’ve ever seen(in its first season only, of course)

Roswell-4/5

Stargate Sg-1 – 4/5

The Sarah Connor Chronicles – 3.5/5 – now canceled. Watchable (neither brilliant nor terrible) while it was on

X-Files – 5/5

Spook/Spy/Etc:
24 – 5 stars, with trepidation but faith, mostly because it’s still good through five seasons

Alias – 4.5(the half off being for the last two-three seasons)

La Femme Nikita – 3/2.5 – had a few good scenes/moments and a lot of potential but really killed by poor acting and loose plot

MI:5- 5 stars – brilliant Brit spook series starring the equally brilliant Matthew MacFadyen; still on-going  although all the original stars have been replaced.

Forensic/Dead Body Shows:

Bones – 4 stars(takes a couple episodes to get into it, but very sweet show)
Standoff-3 stars – lots of potential and the writing has grown a lot tighter, but just can’t make it
Touching Evil – 4.5 stars – brilliant Brit show, only flaw is that the episodes are a bit too similar to each other
Wire in the Blood – 4 stars – another Brit show, the pilot episode was brilliant(criminal profiler who plays Lara Croft playstation?oh yeah), much more so even than Touching Evil, but so gruesome

Comedy:

Curb Your Enthusiasm – 3 stars

Seinfeld – 5 stars

Other:
Veronica Mars – 4/5 – first season gets 5 but the other two aren’t as good – has much more nascent wit and potential than say, Bones, but unfortunately it’s buried under too much teen angst and melodrama.
Chuck – 4/5 – funny, with heart, humanity, and flair
Eli Stone -so far, 3.8/5- quirky and original, could mature into a really great show
October Road -3/5- sweet and oddly intriguing, with flashes of brilliance
Pushing Daisies-4/5 – a show with an oddly British feel, it’s a mix of wryly delightful, tongue-in-cheek banter and romance and unexpected gallows humour. Wholly original.

Women:
Sex and the City – whatever
Cashmere Mafia-1.5/5
Lipstick Jungle-3/5, for its genre

Sad, Photograph, Crush

09-11-032A friend took this. It makes me happy:)

I’ve been feeling sad lately. I miss X so desperately, and Y is so troublesome these days. I have, to all intents and purposes, lost two of my closest friends.

And I’m sad because I miss ICA people. I miss that community, that environment, the warm loving joy, the inside jokes, the small ways in which you get cared for as a a part of that group. But I think mostly I’m sad because I feel like I’ve lost the people – no one has reached out since I left, no one has made the effort to love, they’re all just – gone. Absent and missing, lost in the borders of their lives and worlds. Most of them I don’t regret – my time for knowing them and vice versa is gone – but the loss of a few, and their refusal to reach out to keep me, still burns. I’m getting used to it, however – tonight at the thanksgiving dinner was one of the best, most relaxed times I”ve had around them.

In other (brighter?) news, I have a Crush. His name is RHB – red-headed boy. I first noticed red-headed boy in one of my classes first (or second? don’t remember) year, where he thoroughly intimidated me with his intellectual comments in class, his knowledge of abstruse literary terms which I had a bare grasp of, and his general air of Knowledge about all that could be Worth Knowing.Be that as it may, my intimidation masked, or perhaps was simply another name for, an incipient attraction underneath at all. However, after that class was over I promptly forgot about him.

Come third year, and lo and behold RHB turns up in one of my classes(those red heads. they never go away). To be honest, I didn’t pay him much attention the first half of class or so – I knew other people in the class, and he never sat in my section, and after that first flash of recognition, I thought, I’ll never be able to talk to him anyway. However, after a few weeks, it dawned on me that it didn’t have to be that way, and made a resolve: I would talk to red-headed boy before the quarter was over. Two days ago, I walk into class, and there he is, sitting in my section, and no one around. And it occurred to me, with a flash of amusement, that this was my chance. I sat down next to him, and after screwing up my courage for five minutes or so, opened up the conversation quite simply by pointing out that we’d had a class previously. Whereat we went on to have a perfectly normal and ordinary conversation about classes and professors and TAs. And so there you have it. I’ll probably talk to him again before the quarter is over – I may ask him to study with me even though I have have a study partner in E, and in fact B suggested that he and I and B study together also(but it can never hurt to have too many flings study partners, can it? For the record,  both B’s have girlfriends – I’m really not that obsessed:) I was neither disappointed nor excited about my conversation with RHB – he was, in fact, much less overtly intelligent than I remembered, and seemed in fact much more like an ordinary, intelligent person than I remembered him being. Which led me to great amusement at myself, but at least it goes to show that I must have gained in self-confidence between then and now if he no longer intimidates me.But this crush has always been much more about me than about RHB anyway – I like the idea of him far better than I like him, I like the spark of amusement and excitement that it adds to my life and the endless opportunities it provides to laugh at myself. Hmm hmm. Good stuff:)

Writers I Like & Read

Literary (modern): A.S. Byatt, Edith Wharton, Jhumpa Lahiri, Margaret Atwood

Thrillers: Kay Hooper, Iris Johansen, J.D. Robb

Adventure: Alistair MacLean, Jeffrey Archer

Brit humour: P.G. Wodehouse, John Mortimer (Rumpole of the Bailey series)

Mystery: Agatha Christie, Josephine Tey, Anne Perry(Victorian mystery), Iain Pears(art mystery), Jacqueline Winspear, P.D. James, occasionally G.K. Chesterton

Psychological thrillers: Jeffrey Deaver, Stephen White

Fantasy: Ursula K. LeGuin, Garth Nix, Peter Dickinson, Patricia A. McKillip, Diana Wynne Jones

Romantic fantasy: Robin McKinley, Juliet Marillier, Cecilia Dart-Thornton, Jules Watson

Romance/Chic lit: Lisa Kleypas, Barbara Cartland, Clare Darcy, Eloisa James, Meg Cabot(teen)

Christian romance: Lori Wick, Robin Lee Hatcher

Christian romantic thrillers: Dee Henderson

Gothic romance: Daphne du Maurier, Madeleine Brent, Victoria Holt,Mary Stewart, Michael Cox occasionally

Westerns: Louis L’Amour, Cormac McCarthy, Jack Schaefer

To try: Zane Grey, Larry McMurtry, The Shootist by Glendon Swarthout – This is the all-time classic novel chosen by the Western Writers of America as one of the best western novels ever wrttten. It is also the inspiration for John Wayne’s last great starring role–the acclaimed 1976 film, The Shootist.

Avoid:

Diana Gabaldon-her pages stretch on and nothing happens

Alice Borchardt – ugh, her The Silver Wolf was overdone and dripping in blood and sex

Jasper Fforde – The Eyre Affair was stupid and barely tolerable, and suffered from a misapprehension that it was charming

Elsa Watson, Mary Balogh-too flowery/flawed

Philippa Gregory, Sandra Brown, James Patterson

Your arms full, and your hair wet

Went to Santa Monica beach/pier the other day. Time alone with my God and time alone for me. Also got a little studying in at Jinky’s and then Le Pain Quotidien. Cute French boy on the bus ride back but sadly he got off halfway through.

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Lots of wind, thoroughly chilled. I grieved a little over various things, and thought what a great place this would be a for a date, and realized that I’ve been trying to stifle/bury my loneliness and struggles with the faith this quarter by being madly busy. Life.

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Writing T.S. Eliot lyrics in the sand – I got the lyrics slightly wrong(has it really been that long since I read Eliot?) It’s “They called me the hyacinth girl” not “They called you the hyacinth girl”

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And

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“Then Jesus said, “Surely I will be with you to the very end of the age’”

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Alias Grace

“Gone mad, they say, as if madness a place you can go to, a land you can find yourself in, trapped in.”

“So there I was, pretending not to watch, and there he was, pretending not to be watched; and you may see the very same thing, Sir, at any polite gathering of society ladies and gentlemen.”

-Excerpts, Alias Grace, Margaret Atwood

To Read

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UCLA Guide

WORK IN PROGRESS

Useful links:

UCLA Calendars(the academic ones are the most useful)

UCLA Blogs:

Pacific Ties

FAST(Fashion and Student Trends)

Misc:

Ackerman store: you have 14 days to return things after you buy them, but if you ask nicely or pretend ignorance sometimes they’ll let you return it after that.

Kerckhoff Coffee House – the food is terrible, mostly organic, dry, day/s -old stuff, and wildly overpriced for small amounts of it. The only actual food item that I consider worth the money is the $3 Soup du Jour – it’s a portion large enough to fill you up and more(& tastes good & comes with crackers). Their drinks and pastries are good and the Baskin Robbins ice cream bar to the left is reliable as always.

Places to study in the Powell area:

-Powell – the library is (surprisingly, I know) a fantastic place to study – believe it or not it’s not just the place where you go if you’re desperate, nor is it the place where all the nerds hang out. Instead, anyone who’s a dedicated student usually ends up there; in fact I’d go so far as to say that if you’ve never studied there, or seldom do, you’re probably not a serious studier. The Reading Room, in particular, is excellent – enter the room to the right of the entrance and you’ll see a rather depressing area, but go through it and turn to the left and voila! rows upon rows of study tables with lamps appear, almost always at least half full of students. There’s enough light, it’s quiet, there’s always company, there’s outlets on top of every table, and best of all the chairs are wide and super comfortable(more comfortable than my desk chair at the apartment, in fact. what’s that about?)

-ASUCLA lounge – semi-hidden/secret study lounge made up of a small room beyond the art gallery in Kerkchoff and a large room upstairs(can be accessed by the stairs in the small room, the stairs across from the Kerkchoff coffee shop, and the outdoor stairs in the Kerckhoff plaza). Has both large and small tables, is always a good temperature, and has wide, deep, amazing arm chairs equally good for studying or falling asleep in. Again, only for serious studiers – you’ll only find out about its existence even if you a)are clever and b)care enough to go on the hunt for good study spots. Or of course if you read this blog. A friend showed it to me my second year and I’ve used it on and off ever since.

-Kerckhoff Coffee House – best for individual study or small groups of two or three. The tables are small and space is always fiercely contested; it’s also usually a little too warm. But there’s a decent number of outlets and if you enjoy the hustle and bustle of a cafe then this is an excellent spot. The “cool” study alternative.

-Humanities/English Reading Room – I think only humanities students ever venture in this building, but if you do you’ll find the English Reading Room on the second floor, which is a decent (and very very quiet) place to study(it’s essentially a small library) and more importantly there are wide flat couch things lining hall alcoves in a small part of the first floor and the entire second floor of Haines. When I have classes there I always curl up in one of these and get some reading done.

UCLA professors:

Sianne Ngai – she talks rather rapidly  but so clearly genuinely enjoys what she’s teaching that you are thoroughly engaged anyway, and she’s very clear in expressing herself. Also encourages class discussion/student participation, is willing to go off on tangents as long as they’re interesting, and brings to what could be extremely dry topics a bundle of energy and passion.

Mitchum Huehls – the content of his courses is challenging and he doesn’t pamper you, but what he does offer is an excellent and very clear teaching style, honesty, a dry sense of humour that comes out in unexpectedly funny quips and asides(watch for the stories about his son), and respect as a student and human being(all too rare from professors I find). One of the few professors I’ve had at UCLA whom I thoroughly respect. I took 140A with him, a class which you will love if you like philosophy and playing with abstract ideas and will hate otherwise. Fortunately, I fell in the former category, and the combination of the material with the professor made it hands-down one of my favorite classes at UCLA – that rare class which is both intellectually challenging and engaging without being impossibly difficult.

Kareem-10B-didn’t like her at all, her lectures were dry and disorganized, delivered essentially by rote without any passion at all, and worst of all she has a soft, droning voice which would kill any excitement her lectures had if they had any to begin with. I usually don’t have trouble listening to professors or staying awake in class, but I struggled through every single class with her.

Apartment-hunting in Westwood:

Essentially you’ll just have to walk around and call the numbers on the signs, but a few places at least do have websites-

415 Gayley

Atrium Court 10965 Strathmore

Midvale Plaza-527/540 Midvale

Movie theatres in Westwood:

Mann Bruin
948 Broxton Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90024

Mann Village(previously known as the Fox or Fox Village theatre):
961 Broxton Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90024 United States. 310.248.6266

AMC Avco Center 4
10840 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles, CA

Events Calendar

Winter quarter:

Dance Marathon(Feb 13th-14th,2010)

Spring quarter:

LA Times Festival of Books

Spring Sing

Dormal

Lotus Steps

Jazz Reggae Festival

Most of the cultural nights: Samahang Pilipino, Korean Culture Night, etc.

To See

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Rain

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People said that when you went home

The rains would be over

The wars would stop

Sunlight would spill out of cradles

and children husk the day.

I wanted you back.

With your shepherd’s wings and your pleasant

eyes. I wanted to throw you on a table and

cover you with kisses, take shelter out of cover

and circle. They said that when you came home

Babies would stop crying, days would sparkle.

They lied.